I’ve just been so busy...

When I was just a boy, there were so many wonderful adults in my life; grandparents, uncles and aunts, older cousins, and neighbors who seemed more like family. Though I didn't realize it, due to my young age and mindset, these people were in my life because they loved me, and made a conscious decision to be available to me; I was important to them.

As I grew older, into my 20s and 30s, I gave in to the tendency, or temptation, to leave these relationships unattended. I was busy now. I had things to do, and just didn’t have time to keep up all of those contacts. I had time for school, for work, for the things that seemed most important, but not for the people I was letting slip out of my consciousness.

I would, from time to time -- possibly from pain of guilt -- stop in an see one of these “old folks.” I clearly remember my all too infrequent visits to my grandmother. She lived only a mile or so from me, yet I know I didn’t visit her more than several times a year. I would always say something like “I should stop in more often, but I’ve just been so busy lately...” Grandma would smile a little, give me a kiss, and say “Oh, you have plenty to do, you don’t have much time for old people like me.”

I’d feel badly for a minute, and then rationalize that Grandma was just being dramatic, and feeling sorry for herself. I didn’t let it dawn on me that she may have been trying to teach me something very important.

Now that I am one of the “old folks,” I am learning what I think my grandma was trying to teach me. The lesson is more painful now, but I am learning it nonetheless.

During the course of my life I have had the great blessing of being close to many people. I have been a friend, a teacher, a youth leader, a mentor, a coach, a Godfather, an uncle, and a brother.

For many of those years, the people whose lives intersected with mine remained in close contact. We talked -- either in person, or by phone -- often. Christmas and New Year’s were sure to be times when we connected. With some, it even happened on birthdays.

Lately, more and more of these younger friends are drifting out of contact. Now and then I will hear from one of them, usually by text-message, and they begin by saying something like “I was going to call you, but I’ve just been so busy lately...”

At the age of 63, I’ve learned many lessons in my life. One of them is that, as busy as I might be, I have time for the people for whom I make time. I am now learning how much it hurts when people whom you love drift away.

I have not written this for sympathy. In fact, I nearly did not write it at all. I decided to write this in hopes that I might help someone else (or maybe even a few someone elses) to learn what I believe my grandma was trying to teach me.

Make time for those who have loved you and have been there for you in the past. Those people were put into your life as blessings, and you now have the opportunity to be a blessing to them in return.

If you’re too busy for that, you really are too busy. Only you can change that.

An old saying goes “Make new friends, yet keep the old; One is Silver, and the Other is Gold.”